James and Jerilyn are in love with eachother and they both are in love with their Catie J!

My little Girl

2009-02-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

Now that I am expecting again I often get the questions about when i was expecting Catherine. Like, "did you carry her high or low?" or "what did you crave with Catherine?" or maybe "Did you find out what you were having with her?" Its taken me back to the time when I was pregnant with her and it seems like it was so long ago.

We did not find out what we were having with Catherine and I swore up and down she was gonna be a boy. We bought boy clothes, we had boy names, we bought balls and cars and trucks, we honestly thought we were gonna have a boy. We went in to have her and all the nurses were looking at me and betting weather it was a boy or a girl and nobody said girl. I remember going through labor and thinking what if i go through all of this and its a girl, what am I gonna do with a girl? I am a girl and I dont understand them, much less try to raise one. Well it was time to find out and she comes out and my mom screams "its a girl, its a little girl!!!" I took one look at my sweet Catherine and was in love. I came home to a box of pink everything!!!! Wow I never expected how much pink stuff could exist but I embraced it, really I did. I stayed at home with Catherine and I fell in love with her! We played and took naps together and we went on long walks and watched movies and waited for our daddy and husband to come home everyday.

Now that she is almost 4 I cannot believe she is my little girl. She is smart, she is beautiful and she has an amazing heart for people and loves so deeply. She is creative and she is passionate, zealous and has an amazing love for adventure and life. I tear up as I write this because I get to experience interacting with her everyday. I wish everyone could know her and see her the way I do. I dont know what God has planned for her little life, but I believe its big stuff. I pray that her love for Jesus continues to grow and that God gives me the wisdom and strength and ability to teach and train her in the ways he is preparing for her.

So now that I am expecting again, people often ask if we are going to find out. And I simply say "no we are not going to find out." And then the next question is inevitably, "what do you want?"

And as I have pondered on that question for the last 3-4 months I finally figured it out. People think I must want a boy now that I have a girl. I think that having Catherine was the biggest suprise of my life and it was such and unexpected gift and adventure to be a mom to a little girl, that I am up for another suprise. If its a girl, I know I will fall in love with her, just like my Catherine and I know that if its a boy I will be so excited to enter into the adventurous world of boys. God is so good and faithful and he knows exactly what we need and how we need it. He knew I needed my Catherine and he loves me everyday through her. He knows exactly what we need with this next little one and I trust he knows my best. I am one lucky woman.

Christmas/New Years/Baby Update

2009-01-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh the Christmas season is finally over. I loved it this year but it seemed to last forever. I was in the prime of my pregnancy sickness and so I could not eat anything with out it all coming back up, it was sad. It was our first Christmas without seeing family. We stayed in Phoenix and we loved it. It was fun to figure out what our traditions would be and what thats going to look like in the future. My sister, Joanna worked in the ER until midnight so she came and stayed with us Christmas eve and spent the morning with us, it was really fun to have her there. Also another friend who is a nurse got off at 7 Christmas morning and she came and had breakfast with us and spent the morning. This is not what I expected at all for our first Christmas at home but it was so much fun. We took my sister to the airport and I spent a lot of time watching people as we drove through town. I became so sad, for the first time I realized not everyone has family at Christmas. There were so many people alone and sad and hurting. I know its nuts that that was the first time I realized it, but for so long I have been couped up in my home with my family and my husbands family that I never really saw this. Anyways as we processed and talked throughout the day about my sadness, we decided to start every year either having someone over that has no where else to go or working at a soup kitchen or something. I want to acknowledge that even those who have no where to go are still worth being with.

We spent the new years with a couple of families from our homegroup. It was fun watching the kids play and hanging out. It was the first time everyone came over to the new home. Although after becoming parents it seems as though new years happens earlier and earlier. We were in bed by 9:30.

The baby is doing good!!! I love that I get to experience this again. There were days I was wondering if I would and yet God has blessed my womb with the life of another child. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago at week 12 and I got to see the baby again. This time was so cool, it was a lot bigger and moving and kicking, although I could not feel it yet it was really fun to see. We got a cute picture of it sucking its thumb. It amazing how fast they grow and the idea of whats happening inside of me. God is so good, I do not know how you could experience this and not believe there is something bigger than yourself doing this. The baby is 3.5 inches now, two weeks ago it was only 2 inches, isnt that crazy. It weighs about 1.5 oz and its brain is growing rapidly now. Its about the size of a peach or a bit bigger(thanks Natalie for that info). I am learning more and more how much having kids teaches me to release my control and to trust the one who created them. Its so hard to not try to control everything and yet I control absolutly nothing. I am learning everyday. We cannot wait for summer and this baby to enter wholly into our lives. I cannot wait to meet it and see what it looks like. I cant wait to nurse and go on walks and cuddle and take naps with this little one. The gift of life is so beautiful.

James started a new job last week. He is now an Academic Advisor for Grand Canyon University.(i get to go back to school for free!!!). He is also still teaching online bible classes for Grand Canyon as well. He is busy, but for the first time in about 4 months we are caught up on bills, we can go grocery shopping without freaking out, and we can give so much more freely. Again God has been so faithful and good to our family. He is an amazing daddy and husband and would do anything in the world for our family. We are so lucky to have him. I love being his wife and learning everyday from his knowledge of the bible and his paitence and wisdom beyond his years. I am one lucky woman and Catherine is the luckiest little girl in the world.

Welp here we are on January 17 celebrating another year of life. We celebrated 5 years of marriage on the 3rd of this month. We get to celebrate 4 years of our daughter life in March and we get to celebrate a new life entering the world in July. I am a truly blessed woman. Thank you Jesus. We love you all and we are so thankful for each of you. I hope you have an amazing year and that you are filled with the grace of who our Jesus is. That you know and trust you are loved and wanted and valued and accepted. Here are some pics.....hope you enjoy.

Catherine and her friends on New Years eating pizza at Catherines new table.

Catherine opening gifts with Daddy on Christmas morning.

Me and the most amazing man in the entire world.

my beautiful Catie J. Catherine and daddy setting up the Christmas story so we can act it out

Grateful Heart

2008-12-20T14:34:00.000-08:00

I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness to the Lord for his blessing and grace upon my Life that is not deserved. We have spent the last month reveling in a pregnancy that we honestly thought may not happen, we have spent the last month traveling to be with family and to enjoy thanksgiving with people we love and adore, we have been overwhelmed with gratitude for our new home and the gift it is to us, and now we are humbled once again by the blessing of the new Job the Lord has given James. I feel like I have gone through times of life expecting God to blessing, expecting him to do good things in my life, expecting everything I want to happen. If I am good enough, if I try hard enough, if I do enough then I will get what I want. After the last year of learning more and more of Christs character and through my frustrations of being mad, angry, sad, alone, tired, jealous etc...He has never left me. He has loved me, blessed me when I would not look, Held me when I could harldy breathe from crying so hard, waited patiently for me when I was so angry I couldnt even talk to Him. He has NEVER left me. I am learning and feel like I would not have acknowledged His grace and truth in my life had I not experienced the desert of longing. He longs for me to see Him in everything. He longs for me to let Him love me, to not expect from Him, but to trust who He is and what He is doing in my life. Life my not go like I plan, but He knows me so much better than I know myself and he longs to fill me with Him. He wants me to be satisfied in who He created me to be. So in this season of blessing beyond blessing in our lives I pray I hold onto these truthes I have learned in the last couple of years. I pray I fall in love with who He is more and more and that I can look back on His amazing blessings when I may be in the desert once again. I am overwhelmed and so grateful for where we are. I pray I cherish it and not long for what is next.

This is my mom and dad and sisters at thanksgiving
This is my beautiful Catherine Jane up in the Mountains!

My Girl and me the first morning after finding out she was gonna be a big sister!

I had to throw one in of the pregnancy test! What a blessing! We cannot wait to meet this little one. For those of you who are asking, we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby. We want to be suprised! The first couple of appointments have gone great. I have been really sick and so the last appointment the doctor put me on some great medication for the sickness. We also got to see the baby's heartbeat at the last appointment. It was to early to hear it but we could see our little peanut on the screen and see its little heart beating so stinkin fast. Its brain and organs are really growing this month. It now has legs and is getting fingernails. It is a little over an inch tall and weights about 5 grams. Holy cow its hard to believe there is life growing inside of me! Catherine is loving the Christmas story and always asks if Jesus is in my tummy, but maybe not because my name is not Mary. She loves to pray for this little one and she loves to come lay on my tummy. I can't wait for the baby to start moving so she can feel it and me too. She is gonna be an amazing big sister and I am so thankful for my Catherine Jane. I love telling her stories about when she was in my tummy and when she came to our lives. She is enamored by them. I cannot wait to keep you all informed on coming attractions of this little one entering our lives and so many of yours. I am 9weeks and 5 days pregnant! Love you all!

you know how i said God is Faithful????

2008-11-30T19:10:00.001-08:00

Well He is!!! In my last post we mentioned all that is going on but we were intentionally waiting to mention another HUGE thing that will change our lives FOREVER. There will be a new baby that will be joining our family next July! Yep....Im gonna have a baby! Catherine is gonna be a big sis and James will continue being the best dad ever! After almost 2 years of longing for and wanting another baby we were coming to the conclusion that it just may not be God's plan for us. We met with a social worker about adoption and were starting to put money away so we could add to our family another way. Although we are pregnant we are still wanting to adopt in the future, its always been a dream of ours. This was just so unexpected. But i guess that we serve a God who blesses us so unexpectedly so often. Thank you for praying for our family. Please, please, please pray for a safe pregnancy and labor and delivery. Pray that God would grow this little one to be healthy and strong and one who will fully know his or her identity in Christ. Pray that God would prepare our family and especially Catie J for this huge change. Pray that we would never forget the way that God blessed our family, that we would not "expect" Christ to do anything, but we would "trust" Him with everything. Thank you for your prayers and your calls and your patience with my frustrations. God is so good.

---To the giver of life all glory is thine.

Lots of Changes......God is so faithful!

2008-11-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

We have had so many things in life change lately. I did not realize the emotional and physical toll it would take on me. I love the new home....really I do! BUT......I did not realize how much change it would really be. I though, yea we get to move into a house and be in a neighborhood and have a backyard etc. I love all of this stuff but I am really struggling with feeling so out of place and like its not really "home" yet. I am tired of boxes and weird noises and cleaning on top of unpacking. I didn't think I would go on a walk in our new neighborhood and start balling because I miss my old walk. I knew how long it was, I knew the neighborhood, I knew where I was going. I also didn't know that I would cry everytime I used my stove because I dont know how hot it needs to be and then I end up burning something. AHHHHHHH! But this Saturday will be three weeks and counting and we honestly could not be more thankful. I LOVE our backyard. Catherine and myself are out there all day long. I love the bigger living room! I love my neighbors ALOT. I love decorating a new place and finding out how it will all fit best. So its bitter sweet but more sweet than bitter.

Last week we got a call from a friend and we were offered a couple of days at a timeshare up north. James got a couple of days off of work and at the last minute we were headed on a 3 hour drive to Northern Arizona. It was beautiful and cold for us. We had a bit of snow...enough to make a snowman. We went on walks and built a fire and just played. It was a well needed, free trip. We are so thankful for the oppertunity to do that.

I will post a few pics of the cabin and trip. I am also going to post some of the house, but I wanna get it all done beforehand. Lots of news and lots more to come. We are blessed, thankful and overwhemed with gratitude and joy as we revel in what the Lord is doing in our lives. Thank you for praying and loveing our family so well.

the big move

2008-10-31T08:30:00.001-07:00

we move tomorrow!!! more pictures to come. please pray everything goes well and as planned and that I dont go absolutly crazy!!

The land of Enchantment

2008-10-17T13:47:00.001-07:00

So we went to New Mexico twice in the last month!!! None of these picture are in order, so I will just give you the info on them as we go. This one above is Catie J at my grandparents house in Farmington NM. She and Papa are just about to go to the apple orchard and pick some apples. Its was 26 degrees outside!!! You would think I should bundle her up more. But we just dont understand cold weather here in the dessert land.
This is where they went to get apples. A 93 year old man owns this orchard and the apples are yummy!
this is James getting the car ready to go home

Catie J and Granny and Papa up in Purgetory in Southern Colorado. It was beautiful to see all the colors up there
We went to a bee farm and got lots of honey to bring home with us
we watched the bees making honey
Catie j and papa hagin out on the front porch swing. She loved this swing. I think if it fit, we would have brought it home with us.

we sat in front of the fire and had hot chocolate!!

This is when we went to go see my mom and dad in Las Cruces, NM. We went to the NMSU vs UNM game. We lost but it was fun. This was Catherines first football game
Laying in bed with auntie jenna and uncle Joel. She was kinda mad at them
The beautiful aspens in southern colorado
Gorgeous mountains with SNOW!!! whats that!
the fam

Mom and Jenna at the Football game Me and my beautiful sister at the football game!! She gonna be a bride soon
My daddy, catherines daddy and Catie J goin to the game
Momma and catie j

I love my mom and dad, morning coffee and sunrise. I miss these times at home
Off to the farmers market
I love this man!!!
all ready for the game
We had sooo much fun going to the football game

My daddy and catie j, she loved sitting with him and being with him
here they are again
davy, davy charlie, king of the Bekken frontier!!!
Catie J and auntie Jenna
Mom and Dad trying to do the Wii. It was lots of fun watching them do it!!! They are great sports.

So theres the last month for ya! We are tired. We are also moving in 2 weeks, so the next couple of weeks may be psycho. I will post again as soon as I can. Love you all

busy busy

2008-10-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

life is nuts!!!! Somedays I think we are gonna be fine and somedays I want to crawl up into the fetal position and never come out. 2 weeks ago James was let go from his job along with 2 other teachers, thank goodness we serve a God that knows all things and this did not suprise him. He was already preparing to be an online professor for Grand Canyon University. So we just did a little switch, but its been nuts learning how to depend on Christ when we just dont know what is going on. We knew we would not see the benefits financially from Grand Canyon until the end of November so like always......we worried and worried and worried. What are we gonna do? Where is the money gonna come from? all those fearful questions we ask when we are totally vulnerable and afraid of the unknown. Well about 4 days after James lost his job a family from our Church had heard and they paid our rent for us this month. Then James' boss from the job he got let go from ended up giving him severence when he had already said he wasnt going to. As always God provided and and always I was humbled. In the midst of all of this we are moving into a house. We are renting a cute little house about a mile from here. The guys is not charging much, he just wants a family to take care of his parents house, who recently passed away. He has been so helpful financially and waved the deposit if we help him clean and he also said he would cover utilities. Nuts!!!! So when I think about crawling up into a ball I just have to think of how much Jesus has blessed us and how much he continues to bless us. I know he loves me and I trust he cares but its so easy to try and find everyway possible to do other things than just soley depending on him. When I finally do depend on him things seem so much lighter. Not easier but lighter. I dont like being uncomfortable and wondering, but maybe thats where he needs me to be right now. Wrapped in his arms and trusting in his blessings and faithfulness. He has never been unfaithful, he has never been judgemental or mean, he has never turned me away or disowned me. He has always loved me, always held me, always pursued me, alway protected me, alway listened to me and has always covered me with his mercy and grace. My life is not dependant on me, its not dependant on a job, or money or kids or my husband. My life is dependant on the one who created me. If He did not send his son to the cross I would be nothing. If I believe things were dependant on anything but Him than his sacrifice would be nothing. So why after all he did wouldnt I accept this gift of forgivness and grace that he so easily poured out by sacrificing his son on the cross. This life is so much bigger than me and thank goodness I have a relationship with the one who created it. Thanks for reading.

Dumpster Diving

2008-09-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

So Catherine and myself walk to the park about 4-5 times a week. To do this we walk through an ally. There is a family who puts a lot of good stuff in the ally for garbage. So as I was walking the other day, I saw this beautiful wood. It was a headboard and a footboard for a bed and it was good, thick, chunky wood. I could bearly carry one by myself, so I had to get James to help with the really big one. Well the last day I have been thinking of what I want to do with them. So the smaller one, which is actually pretty big, I did this!!!! I have wanted someway to put scripture that means a lot to us, up at our house. So I did this, it was a great way of putting the scripture up in our home in a really artsy way. I love the rustic look of the wood and it matches well with all of the rest of our home decor. We like it and I guess thats what matters. I think with the bigger piece of wood we are going to get some help from a guy we know to help us make a coffee table. I love it! I am finally realizing this is what relaxes me and calms me down. I love art. Here are some pics of the sign I made, it needs to be cleaned up a bit but its a rough look too, so I dont want it to be so cleaned up. Enjoy!
the top of the sign
the middle of the sign
The bottom of the sign
My two favorite people off to the Ball Game!
I also sent James and Catie J off to the dbacks game tonight. They went with one of Catherines friends from Church and his dad. I dont know what to do with myself.....so I am blogging. Have a good night people!!!

2008-09-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

This is the new alphabet painting I am working on! I think it would be fun with lots of colors.
The back of my new haircut!
And the side of my new haircut and a beautiful little girl!

The new 3D butterfly that I am wanting to sell at the farmers market.
Haircut from the front with my beautiful little girl!
Catherine and the elliptical
She is really workin it!
The alphabet board again

Another 3D painting. Catherine loved doing this one with me!
Here she is with it
this is a 3 part 3D painting of the metamorphisis cycle from caterpillar to butterfly
The caterpillar
and the cocoon.

Im still trying to figure out how to do this whole blogging thing, but I hope this works! Talk to you all soon!

Exercising, Haircut, Crafts and Update!!! Lots going on!

2008-09-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

Here we are again! We have had a rollercoaster of a month. The big news lately is that James will be starting work as an Online Teacher for Grand Canyon University. He will be teaching classes for the Christian Studies department. So until May he will work 3 jobs. Nuts!!!! But the great thing about all 3 of them is that he gets to decide his own schedule. We will see how this pans out but it would be really nice catch up time if it worked. So with my job and his 3 we are definatly keeping busy and tired. But we are learning how to manage time, money and to communicate really well. Its really not as bad as it sounds. Its pretty ideal for our crazy, spontainious lifestyle anyways. The cool thing about James getting experience teaching online, is that he can eventually do that from overseas someday and it would help with supplemental support raising. We have a great plan in mind now as how the year will go, but we all also know how that goes. But we serve a God that knows us and our life better than we know ourselves and he LOVES us. Isnt that amazing.

Oh our Catherine is growing everyday! Yesterday she was playing computer games and a neighbor came over. We had her stop the games while the neighbor was there, because the games were loud and she needed lots of help. So she threw something down and stomped back to her room. James then went back to talk with her while I talk with our neighbor, and all the sudden I hear (really loudly) "can't you just tell her to go home!" My neighbor looks at me and I just apologize over and over and over again. I felt so bad. Oh my little girl. James and I laughed really hard about it when Catherine was in bed later on. We couldnt let her see that we thought it was funny or that would have started a really embarrassing trend. She also has started getting on my elliptical machine. And its scary, funny and she thinks shes pretty cool. She always says "I think Im just gonna exercise with the lliptical.

I am getting really interested in starting a booth at the famers market. I love crafts and I love knitting. So I have not stopped painting and knitting for a week or so now, so that I stock up to start that booth. I just need to get my State of AZ business license. I also chopped off my hair yesterday, its taking some time to get used to but I love it.

Here are some pics! Hope you all have a great day!

The Law

2008-09-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

"As Christians we are not called to keep the law, we are called to fulfill the law. We fulfill the law by loving eachother, being available and becoming a living sacrifice." Romans 12:1
Bill Thrall (our pastor)

This is the message we talked about this last sunday at Church and James and I have been really learing and contemplating what this means and the reality of it in this life. Good stuff!

I wish I had a camera

2008-09-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

We had one of the best days ever the other day and I forgot my camera! I was so bummed. Now that the weather is getting "better" here in Phoenix, Catie J and I have been walking to the park. Its about a 2 mile walk. We love it because we get time to talk and sing and look at bugs and all that fun stuff. Well the other day we were planning on walking up there and I looked outside and it was a little cloudy. So I checked the weather online and it said there was no chances of rain until that night. Well, Catie J and I get all ready to go on our walk and get on our way, it was beautiful! No sun, and a really nice breeze. So we are about 1/4 mile from the park and it starts sprinkling rain, that actually made the day feel even better. Not too much longer after that it starts pouring rain, so I book it to the park, because we were at that time closer to the park we could run for cover there. Normally when we go to the park I let Catie J get out of the stroller at the hill and we run the rest of the way together. Well, to Catherine, this day didnt make a difference. So I let her get out and she got the biggest kick out of the rain. This is coming from a little girl who usually doesnt see anything but sun. So we ran and played in the big field in the rain. It was so much fun. After we got tired and the rain died down, we played for a bit on the swings and the slide. All the sudden it started pouring again, so we hid for cover underneath one of the play structures and we pretended that we were in a castle and that we had to protect all of our people from the rain. While we were in lala land, James came to get us out of the rain. We went home and had coffee and hot chocolate and pretended that it was super cold outside and cuddled up and talked. It was really fun. Such and unexpected pleasure in our routine of life. Wish I would have had my camera so you could see us all soaked and my Catie J's laugh that is what keeps me going day to day! Have a fun day!

Catie J Cam

2008-09-04T09:07:00.001-07:00

Oh My Catie J!!! She loves to take pictures.....Here are a few of the funny ones she has taken. She is actually getting pretty good at setting her animals up so she can get a shot of them. Here is a day with the Camera by Catie J.

here are her beautiful doggies

What movie is this???

Mr. Elephant...you can never have too many

her lovely map of the world

Mama Pooh is reading to baby Pooh

Just a random shot

again what movie is this??

her craft table

and daddy!!!!!

Hope you all enjoy! She did!

Breakfast Enchiladas???

2008-08-31T18:31:00.000-07:00

You heard me, they are amazing!!! James and I have made an attempt at cutting flour and sugar out of our diet. At times we are great and other times its a very sorry attempt. Well I am trying now to conform our meals that we like into the "no flour, no sugar." We used to make green chile burritos for breakfast. With eggs, bacon, green chile and cheese wrapped in a big "Flour" tortilla. I was trying to figure out how to rework this recipe and little did I know I would come up with something amazing!! Heres the recipe!!!

15 corn tortillas
6-8 eggs
1/4 cup of milk
1 lb of bacon or sausage (whatever your liking is)
1 tomato chopped (optional)
1/4 cup of onion chopped (optional)
1/4 cup of bell pepper chopped (optional)
1/4-1/2 cup of green chiles (optional)
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 tsp of pepper
2 cups of cheese
2 tbs of tabasco (optional)

First I start the bacon or sausage (whatever we have) then, while thats cooking I beat the eggs and add in the milk and veggies and spices. Then I get 5 corn tortillas and tear them up and cover the bottom of an 8x8 pan. Then I pour 1/3 of the egg mixture on top of the tortillas. Next I layer the bacon or sausage over the eggs and then I put a layer of cheese. I repeat this 2 more times. It goes into the oven on 300 for about 30 minutes and then on 350 for another 15 minutes. It should be to where you stick a fork in the middle and the eggs are cooked through. It serves about 4-6, depending on if men or women are eating. James usually eats about 1/2 of it. Its our new favorite breakfast and its super easy. Kind of like a breakfast burrito, omlet thingy. It reheats really well too.

Hope you enjoy!!!

JL

Project Detox

2008-08-31T17:53:00.001-07:00

I love doing projects!!! I love the thrill of thinking out what I want to do and the creativity that comes along with it. I love trying to figure out how to get it exactly how i want it. Doing projects is almost like reading a book, there is a high at the beginning, I get excited to read, but i also get really excited to see how its gonna end. But when I am all done I am so sad that its over. Same with a project. I love thinking it out and excited to see the end result, but when all is said and done, i get very sad when its over. I think I may be a little weird, but its just who I am. So the project over the last couple of days......well its kind of a lot. I went into Catherines room and just got fed up! She has so much stuff. Too many toys, books, stuffed animals and waaaaaay to many clothes!!! So in an attempt to clear out her room, I went a little, (ok, a lot) bizerk!!! Project: Catherine's room. I went to target to get groceries and came back with a new bookshelf. I know, I shouldn't be adding stuff to her room but my idea is to minimize. So I put this bookshelf together, by myself, it only took me about 2 hours with the help of an amazing 3 year old. Well this is one of the shelves with the little 12"X12" squares. There were 9 squares 3 up and 3 down. So I had the insert boxes to go in them. I cleared out her dresser and got rid of a trash bag full of clothes and filled the 6 inserts with the rest of the clothes. We cleared her dresser out of her room and also her other bookshelf. I cleared out toy boxes and threw away stuff that is not used or useless anymore. After another 2 hours of cleaning, moving furniture and rearanging her room looked about 20x's bigger. Well, although i did love it, it just needed something more. So after a trip to the craft store today.....I came home with stuff to create labels for all of her clothing bins. I spent another 2 hours today painting, and hot glueing. I finally finished and I am so happy, yet very sad its done. I find myself sitting in her room looking at the shelf very pleased. I am so weird!!! Well, here are some pics.....now onto the next project!! Hope you all like it.

Oh My Girl

2008-08-26T13:00:00.001-07:00

My Catie J says and does so many things to make me laugh so hard. Today we were about to eat lunch and I asked her what she wanted. She responds ever so serious and says "I would like to go to fred reckers house please." Of couse my response is "what the......fred recker?" Well after about 10 minutes of laughter on my part and frustration on her part we concluded that she wanted to go to Fudruckers for lunch. What a cutie pie.

She also came out singing the heck out of a song the other day. After the same phrase came out about 10 times I finally started listening to what she was saying. To the tune of the song and the words "All things are possible" My girl was singing, mind you, eyes closed, hands raised in the air, shouting and singing "I'll sneak the pasta bowl." over and over and over again! I couldnt stop laughing.

She is getting some of her grandma (jerilyns mom) in her. She is big on practical jokes and trying to be sneaky funny. So we were putting a puzzle together and I couldnt find 3 of the pieces anywhere. She starts giggling and then turns into full on laughter and I still cant find the pieces of the puzzle. She tells me to look in my pants. Lo and behold, 3 puzzle pieces. She had come behind me while doing the puzzle and put 3 pieces down the back of my pants.

One last funny one or just really cute one. I love rain and whenever it rains, which is not very often in Phoenix Arizona, I always wake up and say, "Thank you Jesus!!!" Well, We use James' tip money from starbucks to fill up our car with gas. Yesterday as we drove into sbucks to go get the tip money our low fuel light went on. I, exasperated and excited at the same time say, "Thank you Jesus!" And my Catherine says "But i dont see rain mommy?" Very cute! It is also nice to say it did rain last night and its a very cloudy day today! So "THANK YOU JESUS!!!" Have a fun day!

rejoice always?

2008-08-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

Philippians 3:1
Finally, my brothers, Rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.

Yesterday was purely Christ speaking to me at Church. We have been going through Philippians lately and our family has been gone so much of the series. We helped out 2nd service with Childrens ministries for the month of July and then we were out of town for 2 weeks and yesterday for the first time in a while, we were able to soak in the refreshing sound of worship and the soothing words that Jesus knew we needed to hear yesterday.

We went into yesterday burdend and heavy. Longing, weepy and tired. We have been in the last 2 weeks given some unexpected obstacles pertaining to work for James and needless to say anything with money is aweful stressful. We also walked into yesterday learning yet again for the 18th month in a row we are not expecting. The night before our cabinent with all of our baking supplies was attacked with bugs and our refrigerator door wasnt shut all the way. I went through a spell of wondering if this would ever end. Now our bigger obstacles made these little ones seem bigger than they were but nonetheless, when you are expecting to finally sit down after a long night already, and all of this needs to be dealt with...well, it was a little overwhelming.

So back to walking into Church yesterday.....so refreshing to be in a place that is full of acceptance, love, grace and mercy. When I complain about life, I dont hear "you need to not complain." I hear, "how can I help you?, or, When can we bring you a meal?" This amazing church is full of "no condemnation" and beautiful, messed up sinners that know they are fully saved by the amazing grace of our precious Jesus. We learned how hard it is to rejoice in Christ in all of our circumstance. When life throws everything at you and you cant imagine you can deal with anything else, he calls us to REJOICE. He has given us so many reasons to rejoice. He has promised us eternal life with HIM. He knows life is not easy and he know exactly what he is giving us, he is not suprised and he is not running away. He longs to stand right next to us as we struggle and limp through this life. He longs for us to understand and lean on his promises, even if we dont understand them. When life is good and right and everything feels amazing, he longs also to stand next to us and go through it with us. He wants to rejoice in our blessings with us too. He knows more than anyone, that this world is not where we belong. That the treasures of this earth will not last, but He will last and HE is our treasure that we need to be seeking daily and always. He is who we will be rejoicing in always when all the things of this earth pass away.

So do I still long for another chid? Of course I do. But i am learing to Rejoice in the knowledge that we have an amazing God that knows my future better than I do, and he is not against me, he is not punishing me. In fact, he is doing this out of pure love.
We are still learing to rejoice during the struggles and blessings of life in the one who created them all. On my worst day I am Christ in Jerilyn and if thats true, and I believe with all of me this is true, then I can do nothing but rejoice in the beautiful sacrifice of the gift of his son.

Some Family Pics

2008-08-14T13:36:00.001-07:00

Update on Waddells

2008-08-14T13:14:00.000-07:00

Hello All!!! I started this blog really thinking I could keep up with it. Its a lot harder than it seems. I sometimes sit down to write and then feel like I have nothing to say. It has been a crazy 6 months. Catherine turned 3 and James and I both turned 26 in the last 6 months. Things have been going really well. James walked for graduation from Seminary with his MDiv in May and is now finishing up some summer classes. Its amazing how much a piece of paper can change so much. We are in a transition stage of not knowing what is next. We are continuing to learn and grow as we trust in his plan for us. It too is so much harder than it seems.
James started working at Starbucks this summer so we could benefit from their insurance. I didnt know how much else we would benefit from. Only 20 hours a week for insurance, a free bag of coffee every week, great employee discounts and free coffee for me everytime he comes home from work. Not to shabby. He, for now will teach Math at a Charter School part time and work at Starbucks part time. Its not ideal but its better than throwing Seminary in there too. I am also starting work this next week!! I will be working as the Childrens Pastor assistant for our Church. We go to an amazing Church and I have been involved with the Childrens Ministries for about 3 years now. I am really excited, the best part is I get to make up my own hours. I will also be running a Moms Day out Program for 2-3 year olds. I am very ready to get back into the school year.
Catherine is growing everyday! She is 3 and a half and she is wearing 5 year old clothes. She is tall and skinny like her daddy. She is learing to read and write, she loves to learn. It has to be on her timing but she loves to learn. She memorizes songs like no other. She is seeming to start grasping on to so much of what we are trying to teach her. Like, how much she is loved, not only by us but by her creator, that Jesus always protects her. And that people are more important than things, so its better to build a relationship than to have things or to fight over things. She is learning that everyone needs Jesus and not everyone hears about Jesus so we are supposed to tell people about Jesus. I just love when she prays and when she is really thinking about the things we are saying. She is old enough to express emotion and does very well at it. She is strongwilled and stubborn, but i wouldnt have it any other way. She is so uniquely created by our precious Jesus and I am so proud of my precious little girl.
As for our family......please keep us in your prayers and we are begging God for another child. Sometimes I feel like I am asking too much and sometimes I feel like when it comes so easy for others, that I am asking nothing. I continue to struggle in my battle with who He says i am and what He thinks of me. I know in my head I am his beloved and he cares so deeply and intimatly for me, but sometimes it just doesnt get all the way to my heart and I get so jealous and afraid that his plan is not the plan I had in mind. Yet through all of this, we met a lady from our Church and she runs her own Adoption Agency and has talked with us quite a bit about adopting. I love kids so much and I love being a mom more than anything, maybe Gods plan for me is to love the kids and babies that would otherwise not be loved. Maybe he wants James and I to create a safe home for so many unloved children. Now these are only considerations and thoughts right now, but we are more than willing if thats what we feel God is calling us to do.
We are also running into to the infamous "whats next" phase of life. We are longing to do missions and be in a church. So the next phase is really pushing towards those goals. We will definatly have to wait and see, but we are hopeful and excited to take this next step together.
I love being a Mom to my Catie J and I love being a wife to the most amazing Man alive. God is good, gracious and faithfu.. When I remember his blessings and his amazing gift of life, I gain new perspective every time. He is GOOD!!!

2008-03-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

She is Gods gift and miracle. We are unbelivably thankful for her precious life.

A look Back

2008-03-24T08:55:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe my beautiful little girl is gonna be 3 on Saturday. It sometimes seems like yesteday we were bringing her home from the hospital. I was able to remember my labor story with my sister this weekend and I am amazed at how quickly it makes me cry with happy tears everytime I remember. I am also amazed at how quickly I am taken back to all the rush and emotions of fear and excitement that the day of her birth held for us.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and my water had broken, I went tell James and he said i was probably just freaking out and I needed to go back to sleep. So after some convincing (a huge wet spot on our bed) we decided to call the nurse at the hospital to see what we should do. She said wait an hour and then come in. Since i wasnt having contractions, James proceeded to go back to bed and I started cleaning and freaking out. After the slowest hour of my life, I woke my husband up and we packed our bags and went to the hospital. They checked and my water had broken and they admitted me. Since I wasnt having any contractions and my water had broken, they decided to put me on pitocin (a hormone that starts contractions and speeds up labor). I didnt feel anything until about 6 that morning. When I did start feeling contractions I felt them hard and fast. And after about 6 hours of that and only being at 3 centimeters, I decided I needed an epidural NOW. Once I got the epidural I was starting to enjoy the whole labor and birth process, when all the sudden about 3 that afternoon the baby's heart rate dropped. I say baby because at the time we had not yet found out what we were having. All the sudden a rush of 5 or 6 doctors and nurses came running into the room and unplugging everything and started running me down the O.R. I had no clue what was going on and all I wanted was to see James. They finally told me that the baby's heart rate was dropping so quickly that they needed to do an emergency c-section. All of the sudden the anastesiologist came in a gave me the numbing medicine for a c-section and It came up so high in my chest I couldnt breath, so they did something. Well as they transfered me to the operating table, somehow the baby shifted and the heart rate shot right back up to normal. So my Doctor decided she didnt want to do a c-section if she didnt have to. They checked me and I was 10 centimeters but I coulnt push because of all the numbing medicine. So they gave me medicine to stop contractions, medicine to make the numbing ware off, medicing to lower my blood pressure and because I was vomiting, medicine for that as well. Well because of all the medicine, I started having little seizures. We are at about 4 pm at this time. After about 5 hours my medicines wore off and I felt contractions strong and hard, I told my new nurse I had to push and she told me I need to "hold on". I told her, "if you dont hurry up my husband will deliver this baby weather the doctor is here or not." I think she took me seriously because the doctor was in the room within 2 minutes. The baby's heart rate started dropping again and so they used the forceps and pulled my beautiful baby girl out. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her little neck 3 times. All of that and she was a healthy 7lb 4oz little girl who was 19 inches long. She was just showing me a miniscule part of the stubborness that we are now working on. She has ever since that day only made my life happier and more beautiful. I love this little girl with all of my heart. She is a beautiful gift and miricle!!! It is so bittersweet celebrating her 3rd birthday. I so often wish I could go back to that day and feel the feeling of her brand new life in my arms, yet I am so happy and joyful to see my beautiful little angel and how she has grown and the precious heart she has. She is a leader and she is strong. She loves Jesus and she loves people so much. She is my beautiful Catherine Jane.

Gifts.....

2008-03-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

I was on a walk with my beautiful little girl today and I was once again struck by the beautiful gift she is. Besides my amazing husband she is the most incredible gift the Father has blessed me with.
Since last March we have been wanting to grow our family. For now, the Lord has said "no." In this process of the last year, we have gone through so many stages. First it was the feeling of being invincible. For example, we got pregnant with Catherine immediatly, so we thought adding to our family would be no big deal. Boy was I wrong, after about 3 months I started to get really angry and mad at God in my lack of understanding. Then after about 2 or 3 more months, I started getting really depressed and sad. No one could say anything that wouln't make me cry, I was an emotional wreck.(My poor, poor husband.) After a little while I started trying to figure it out, to analyze it all. Time of month, amount of days, I read anything and everything and it became a game, that I am obviously not winning. Then in about December, I tried to pretend like it didnt matter and I didnt care, if we did we did and if not, Im fine, just fine. I could put up my wall and put on my smile while inside I was cringing at the announcement of another friend getting pregnant, I was crying inside every time I saw a mom and a newborn baby and I was not letting my husband or my daughter into my life. So last month after a total breakdown, I let it all out, for the first time I acknowleged my pain, my anger my frustration and my brokeness, in that I realized my husband feels all those same thing and my daughter, just wants mommy to "have a happy day, no more crying." At that time I was blessed with that peace that He says "surpasses all understanding." I was able to rest for the first time with out trying to figure it all out, and I was able to laugh with my husband and we were all able to cry together. Now here we are still hoping, still longing and still begging Jesus for the gift of life to be added to our family, but in the midst of hoping, longing and begging we are (I am) able to rest in the beauty of who Jesus is. He loves us, he is not out to get us, he wants to bless us and he cares so incredibly for my broken heart. But he wants to be the one to heal it, as amazing as a baby would be, he has to be the one who heals me and my brokeness.
So back to my daughter being a gift.......I am at a point now, that I should have been at a long, long time ago, where I am realizing the TRUE miricle and gift and blessing that my amazing daughter is. To get to be her mom and to remember carrying her in my womb and the pains of labor and the struggles of breastfeeding and the sleepless nights, the memories I once considered so hard and miserable, I now consider some of the most amazing times in my life. I want to cherish the good the bad the hard, the fun, the struggles, the joy and the absolute gift and miricle it is that I get to be a MOM! I love being a mom and I love my beautiful little girl. The one who calls me when she is scared, the one who wants to hold my hand when she falls asleep, the one who want me to sing to her and rock her, the one who crys for me when she doesnt know what else to do. I hope I always remember to treasure being called "mom." It is a pure gift from my precious Jesus who loves me so much. I am also so blessed to be called wife to an amazing husband who loves me and adores me in all of my yuckiness and pride. I love that he is my partner that I get to grow up with and experience life with.
We will see what the next stage is........hopefully a little one, but until then I will rest in the arms of one who know me better that I know myself.

Waddell Look-alike Meter

2008-01-29T12:03:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Long Time Coming......

2008-01-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

So its been about 3 months since i have posted. To those of you who read this, I am sorry. I sometimes dont know what to write, but I figure I would get you caught up.

We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas in New Mexico this year with my parents, and as always the holidays went a gazzilion times faster than we wanted them to. It was Catie J's 3rd christmas already, I cant believe she is getting so big. She loved every second of it all and got lots of barbies, I am amazed that she is already at this stage.

She is no longer a baby or a toddler, she is a little girl, an amazing little girl. We have been praying for the Lord to bless our family with another little one and she is waiting very paitently. She will lay her head on my tummy often and beg Jesus for a baby brother or sister. And then I start to cry and she starts to cry and thats when James really begins praying for a boy. She loves her friends and always asks for them to come over often. She loves to play dress up and she also likes to wrestle with her daddy. She is enamored by elephants and sleep with a stuffed elephant every night. She is going to be 3 in March and she is very excited about her birthday. She says she wants to have lots of princesses. She loves to sing and asks us to record her singing. She is such a goofball. I love staying home with her, everyday is another adventure. She loves life and doesnt miss a minute of it, unless I make her or she is sick.

James is finishing seminary this sememster and we are getting excited about options about what is next for our family. God has been so faithful and has provided so much during this time. As I talked with a friend of James' at his seminary chapel, I asked if he was graduating in may as well and he told me that he was only half way through. As we drove home that night, I realized the Lord blessed us so much with james' scholorship. We have not paid a penny for this incredible education that he is recieving. So many young families are paying so much money for this and we have been so honored and blessed with his scholorship. I dont know how we would have done it. I am also this sememster able to attend a class with him called Nurturing your Family. I have loved getting to join his world for a little bit and seeing where he is and meeting all his friends. I also love the class, we are being challenged as parents and as spouces. We love getting our 3 hours together on Tuesday nights and we love processing all week until the next class. This has been a sweet time in our life.

I am still teaching moms day out at our church just one day a week. The rest of the week, I am home, I get to hang out with Catie J and play with her. I also get to do what I love, I love cooking and cleaning. I love getting ready for James to come home, I love being a mom and a wife. I know this may sound silly to some, but I really feel like God gives women this inate longing to do these things. Or maybe im just weird. I really do feel so blessed to have a husband who works so hard, so I can stay home. Its just as important to him that I am home. I am truly blessed. Now to be honest there are definatly days where I want to stay under the covers and nevere get out of bed. But as much as anyone loves their life, im sure we all have those days.

We cling on the hope and faithfulness and grace of our precious Jesus. He loves us so much and he is always protecting and providing and teaching us. He has chosen us as His children and I am so blessed to be a child of the King. We hope and pray that we seek his wisdom and his kindom as we make decisions as parents, as spouces and as friends and as employees. Thank you Jesus for all that you give and do for us.

The Choice

2007-11-05T09:50:00.000-08:00

I wrote this poem this morning. I hope you like!

I wake up each morning, searching for an answer.
How to I believe what I know
with all the knowledge in the world is true?
I am His beloved, wanted,
accepted, beautiful, and cherished child.
His Child, I am His child,
he not only formed and knit me together
he did that so I could be his very own.
He wants me like my earthly father wants me.
He desires for me to allow him to love me.
He longs for me to believe that I am his.
He hopes for me as a groom hopes for his bride.

So how to I believe with all my heart, this is true?
How do I let others love me and especially Him love me?
How do I let go of my earthly insecurities and trust?
How do I jump in with open arms and open heart
and allow these truths to touch the inner most parts of my heart?
How do I let go of all this hurt, to heal in His arms?
How do I love others as he loves me?
How do forget that its not about me?
How do I trust others to see the darkest corners of who I am,
and still allow them to love me?
How do I trust that He wants to bless me?
How do I know that he is in control,
when everything in my life is spiraling out of control?
How do I just rest in His arms and believe that He just loves me,
not who I can be, not who I once was, not my possessions,
not what I can do, not my status, not my job, etc....?

He loves me, He loves my heart, he loves the way he created me.
He created me, he knew before the beginning of time, that he wanted me.
He knew who my parents and brothers and sisters were gonna be.
He knew what I was gonna look like, He knew my personality,
He knew what my hurts and trials were going to be,
He knew that he wanted me for his very own.

You know, I know all of this in my head.
And honestly I do believe, with my head, that its all true.
But my heart is another issue.
So when I wake up each morning,
horrified and looking at myself in the mirror, I have to make a choice.
I choose to believe I am HIS!
I am loved, I am beautiful, I am wanted, I am cared for,
I am blessed and more than anything, I am HIS child.
A child of the wondrous, creator of the universe.
He is the creator of me. So he must love me.
And for that I choose to let him love me.

Motherhood and Life

2007-10-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

A lightbulb just went on tonight for me! I am writing so fast because I have so much I am thinking and I dont want to forget it. Thanks once again to my daughter, I am learning more and more about myself. Its amazing how as parents you hear that you are the one that is supposed to be teaching and training and bringing up Godly men and women. But really I think so often its the other way around. I have and am still learning so much about my identity in Christ and his great love for me, as i raise my precious little girl.
Tonight, well I will skip back to last night. We had a rough night last night! I was woken up about 12:20 by hearing Catie J screaming. So we both jump out of bed realizing she just had a bad dream. After about and hour of rocking, singing, laying in bed with her, her laying in bed with us, etc.....We both started to get very irritable. We would lay her down and she would be screaming again (this time for attention, not dreams) just as we were falling back asleep, creating more irritability. After this had gone on for another 2 hours, she finally fell back asleep. 2 and a half hours later our alarm goes off. So needless to say, as I am sure all parents have experienced, the day started off tired and grumpy and frustrated. Those actions are then taken out on all that you are around, and it just makes for a yucky day.
So fastfoward to tonight. I am so tired, and I am so ready for Catie J to finally get in bed and go to sleep. As I am singing and praying with her, she starts pulling my hair, jumping on the bed, kicking her feet, talking to her animals.....anything you can think of besides just going to sleep. I was starting to get really frustrated and I said, "Ahhhhhh, you drive me crazy child!" She then started to cry. I wasnt sure why, probably part had to be a lack of sleep, but I felt really bad. I then apologized to her and thought I would tell her all the things I loved about her. As i started to tell her, she slowly started calming down, then she cuddled up with her bear and doggy, then she just stared at me with her beautiful big blue eyes and she didnt budge. When I was finished and about to kiss her goodnight, she says, "say it again mommy, please say you love me again."
I started to cry and I cry as I write this. I tell my baby girl I love her everyday, but for me to affirm her strengths and to affirm what I love so much about who she is, meant so much to her. I realized its so easy as a parent to focus on what your child does wrong that you forget to affirm and praise what they do right. James and I are the core people in her life that Christ has entrusted to teach her about who she is and her identity in him. I never ever want my daughter to think her Identity is her sin and the lies she believes to be true about herself. I want to teach her as I want so badly to continue to learn myself, that her identity is Christ in Catherine. Mine is Christ in Jerilyn. Because he lives in us and he is perfect, that is who we are. I am not saying that we are perfect, beacause sin is real and sin is apart of our earthly life, but sin is not who we are. My daughter is a beautiful, beloved daughter who was and is created and formed in the image of the Everlasting Father, she is his precious child and she is beautiful, just as she is.
I dont know if any of this makes sense and I am still processing it right now, so if you have anything to add I would love to hear it.

Family

2007-10-21T07:59:00.001-07:00

I love my family. I always have known that I love my family, but for some reason, my heart is so full I cant explain it. I am more and more amazed at my Husband who works so hard so I can stay home, and I have never heard him complain once. He goes to school 3 nights a week and he comes home ready to be a daddy and a husband everyday. He goes on little sleep so he can spend more time with us. What a gift to have James, I always am so amazed at how I do not deserve this man that the Lord blessed me with, but Jesus in his amazing Grace, blessed me with James. I pray that as we grow old together, that we always laugh like we do now, that we communicate, that we love eachother more than we do now. And that we always work at getting to know eachother better.

And my little Catherine, how could you not love her. She is the light of our lives! She is always so happy. She is so intense and loves to make us happy. I think its weird, when I had Catherine I really didnt imagine it being like meeting a new person. I just figured I would know her so well already and that it would automatically be great. Dont get me wrong, it was great, but I am realizing as she grows, that I love getting to know my daughter more and more. More of her personality comes out everyday and I learn new things about her everyday. She keeps me on my toes, and we definatly dont get along perfectly everyday. I am still learning that I am the mom, and that its ok to say, "no" or to put her to bed even if she doesnt want to go to bed, or turn off a cartoon even if she doesnt want me to. I definatly laugh at James for having her wrapped around his finger, but I am just as guilty. I am just so thankful that I have James to help me and go on this journey of parenting with me. We even eachother out pretty well.

She is changing everyday, she is becoming a little girl and not a baby anymore. She loves princesses, and playing dressup, she wants to wear pretty dresses and glass slippers to church, she want to blowdry her hair and put curls in it, she wants to wear my makeup. She wants to cuddle with me before nap and bed time. She loves for me to caress her hair behind her ear when she is going to sleep. She loves to sing everynight before she goes to sleep, and she loves to sing all day long. She loves to jump off of the couch and she loves to run around in the nude when she feels like it. She loves to play hide and seek in the yard, and we love to look for stars on Tuesday nights while we wait for our husband and daddy to come home. She loves her friends and asks for them to come over often, she loves to help me bake and make coffee, she loves to talk on the phone, she loves to draw and take pictures. I love my adventurous days with her, she makes me laugh, and cry, she makes me frustrated and she makes me so incredibly happy, she is the joy that wakes me up in the morning and that I cant wait to get into bed every night. Thank you Jesus for my precious Catherine Jane.

Life is so good, and we are so blessed. When I finally stop and realize all that I have been given, I realize the precious gifts from Jesus. He is continually in control and he loves me so much.

Love you all!

We are Back!!!

2007-10-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

We are back from a week of a non working keyboard for our computer. We just got this one in the mail today and its working great. As you can see above I posted out pictures from going to Las Cruces to see Parents and Grandparents last weekend. It was so much fun. We got back last monday and this monday we are all sick. James woke up sick on Saturday and this morning I woke up feeling it. So we took as we like to call it a "secret day off." We love these days that are unexpected days off and just hanging out with eachother.

Anyways I have been super domestic this weekend and crafty......so here are the chairs we built and painted for Catie J. I had so much fun. Today I am working on staining and fixing up some frames I got from a yard sale last weekend with Mom.

Not so much else is happening! We hope all is well and we hope to hear from you soon!

Grandparents.......

2007-10-13T11:22:00.001-07:00

You Give and Take Away...

2007-10-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

So I was in the car singing along with the song "Blessed Be the Name" it gets to the part where is says; "You give and take away, you give and take away, but still I choose to say Blessed be the Name of the Lord." As I began to actually think about the song I was singing and I thought about the reality of actually believing this and it being true of who I am as a Child of our Precious Saviour.
Can I honestly say "God, when I am not happy with you and when things dont go my way, or when you take away something materialistic, or more, in my life, can I with all sincerity and a pure heart say, "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord."
Wow! What a calling as a believer to trust in a God that knows me better than I know myself. That he has this plan so much bigger than mine. He wants in my roughest and greatest hours to come to him and fall into his arms and rest in his peace, grace and neverending mercy. When I choose to do that, I also come to trust and rest in his faithfulness and he allows me the grace to get through anything. What a mighty God. I have a hard time believing this for longer than 10 minutes at a time, which i think is a good thing, because it calls me to continually be in prayer before my Father asking for this (not that I always do that). And then when I can really believe all of this I can come and honestly say "Blessed be your name, Lord."
I love the thought that someone bigger than me is in control. I hate the thought at the same time because my plan and my way are the best... Right??? I know this is not true, but to get that from my head to my heart is another thing. Its so easy to think with my head and the realities of living in this controling world we do this day and age. Everyone has their plan and their way of life and Idea of how its all going to work out. Although it never quite seems to work just the way we want. Why is that? Because its on our own strength and control. I think if God knew we could figure it all out on our own, we would, so he created hardships so that we could learn how to depend on him. And in depending on him, we once again find mercy and grace. Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of Grace with confidence so that we may find mercy and grace to help us in our time of need." He wants us to approach him with confidence because he longs to give us mercy and grace. Its so hard for me to allow the thought into my head that, this is what he wants from me. He wants to love me and protect me and give me these beautiful gifts. What an amazing God.
I am blessed to be his daughter. I am blessed to know that he is in control, and I am blessed to belive for a little bit, that my acceptance and my affermation comes from him. I pray that I continue to believe this and that I contine to depend on and to ask my Jesus to get me through this life. Good and Bad!
You give and take away, you give and take away but still I choose to say, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!

Marriage as Drama

2007-10-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the twenty-first century, James Waddell! Now some of you may be reading my title and thinking, "Whoa, James - that's a dangerous first post on a blog!" Let me help you relax...I don't mean drama as in trouble, but as in a play, or the theater.

Watching our wedding video again tonight, Ray Van Neste struck me again with his point that Jerilyn and I each "play a part" in acting out the gospel together. His point came from Ephesians 5. But first, let me examine this text, which we've looked at a few times in my class on Biblical Sexuality. In class, we talked about gender roles and equality. Ephesians 5 is used by both major camps, verse 21 by those calling for equality ("mutual submission"), verse 24 for those calling for hierarchy ("submit...in everything"). Looking at the whole passage, however, the point is not what women can and cannot do, but that each partner in marriage has a different way of submitting to Christ in each other's lives: wives by respect, husbands by love.

Not to dismiss this vital and necessary debate (I think we need more practical application of the equality of women while keeping biblical roles), but I almost missed the grace and power of God's call for marriage by thinking on the argument. Then I came home, watched our wedding video, and saw Dr. Van Neste tell a much younger us about how we play parts in a drama that shows off the truth of the gospel. To paraphrase this scholar, whenever people hear about the love of Christ, they should understand it more by how I love Jerilyn; if people wonder about how to react in love to Christ, they can realize the means through watching Jerilyn respect me.

This theater show plays before everyone who can see us and who knows us, as is true of all other married couples, and of how singles treat the opposite gender. The world is watching; God is directing. Therefore, what I think about marriage roles is important. How I act out my marriage, however, (especially when the curtain is up) determines what people will think about Jesus. "On with the show!"

Winter is slowly approaching

2007-10-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

Its time for hats and scarves to enter the wardrobe!!! I am working on making all my new hats for this season! These picture are from last year. If you have any requests let me know so I can get started on it now, before it gets cold. You know how cold it gets here in Phoenix. Have a fun day!

Living Life to its fullest

2007-06-26T13:27:00.001-07:00

As we push on through this life we continue to learn more and more of what the Lord has prepared for us. We are fully learning to trust in his faithfulness and his timing. We serve an Amazing God, yet we choose to try to figure stuff out ourselves.

We have recently been struggling through what is next.....It always seems like its easier to look ahead than to where we are right now. But what I find I end up doing, when all I do is look ahead, is I get impatient and grumpy with where I am. So how do you go about living in the "now" and also planning for the future. I know this can get into huge theology issues, but honestly we are not ulitmately in control of our future, so how do you "plan" for the future.

If I could have seen 10 years ago, where I would be now in life, I dont know if this is what i would have chosen then. But the Lord in his soverignty has blessed me with more than I would have chosen for myself.

I guess my main struggle is learning how to trust the Father with where I am now and also the future. Without worrying about my future!

I know this probably all sounds confusing, but with life right now it seems like the most forfront thing on my mind.

James is in Seminary and will be done in May. So for the past 3 years we have just known this is where we are and what life looks like. We love our little apartment, we love our daughter, we love our church, we love our friends, we love our walk we go on etc.... But in light of knowing that James will definatly have more options ahead of him, in being done with school, what do we do next? How much do we put into what is next and how much do we just "trust" and truly live where we are now? Iyiyiyiyi!!!!!

In other news, Catie J is growing up so fast, she is learning how to sound out words now! She loves to read books with mommy and daddy and she also love to try to read to her stuffed animals. She has lately been struggling with sleeping, needless to say so have all of us. She goes so hard all day long that the last thing she wants to do is sleep. She seems to think there are so many other important things to be doing. I really dont think there are at 1 in the morning. She is so energetic, and keeps us going all day long! I love my little girl....speaking of I need to get back to her, have a great day!