Motherhood and Life

A lightbulb just went on tonight for me! I am writing so fast because I have so much I am thinking and I dont want to forget it. Thanks once again to my daughter, I am learning more and more about myself. Its amazing how as parents you hear that you are the one that is supposed to be teaching and training and bringing up Godly men and women. But really I think so often its the other way around. I have and am still learning so much about my identity in Christ and his great love for me, as i raise my precious little girl.
Tonight, well I will skip back to last night. We had a rough night last night! I was woken up about 12:20 by hearing Catie J screaming. So we both jump out of bed realizing she just had a bad dream. After about and hour of rocking, singing, laying in bed with her, her laying in bed with us, etc.....We both started to get very irritable. We would lay her down and she would be screaming again (this time for attention, not dreams) just as we were falling back asleep, creating more irritability. After this had gone on for another 2 hours, she finally fell back asleep. 2 and a half hours later our alarm goes off. So needless to say, as I am sure all parents have experienced, the day started off tired and grumpy and frustrated. Those actions are then taken out on all that you are around, and it just makes for a yucky day.
So fastfoward to tonight. I am so tired, and I am so ready for Catie J to finally get in bed and go to sleep. As I am singing and praying with her, she starts pulling my hair, jumping on the bed, kicking her feet, talking to her animals.....anything you can think of besides just going to sleep. I was starting to get really frustrated and I said, "Ahhhhhh, you drive me crazy child!" She then started to cry. I wasnt sure why, probably part had to be a lack of sleep, but I felt really bad. I then apologized to her and thought I would tell her all the things I loved about her. As i started to tell her, she slowly started calming down, then she cuddled up with her bear and doggy, then she just stared at me with her beautiful big blue eyes and she didnt budge. When I was finished and about to kiss her goodnight, she says, "say it again mommy, please say you love me again."
I started to cry and I cry as I write this. I tell my baby girl I love her everyday, but for me to affirm her strengths and to affirm what I love so much about who she is, meant so much to her. I realized its so easy as a parent to focus on what your child does wrong that you forget to affirm and praise what they do right. James and I are the core people in her life that Christ has entrusted to teach her about who she is and her identity in him. I never ever want my daughter to think her Identity is her sin and the lies she believes to be true about herself. I want to teach her as I want so badly to continue to learn myself, that her identity is Christ in Catherine. Mine is Christ in Jerilyn. Because he lives in us and he is perfect, that is who we are. I am not saying that we are perfect, beacause sin is real and sin is apart of our earthly life, but sin is not who we are. My daughter is a beautiful, beloved daughter who was and is created and formed in the image of the Everlasting Father, she is his precious child and she is beautiful, just as she is.
I dont know if any of this makes sense and I am still processing it right now, so if you have anything to add I would love to hear it.