Now that I am expecting again I often get the questions about when i was expecting Catherine. Like, "did you carry her high or low?" or "what did you crave with Catherine?" or maybe "Did you find out what you were having with her?" Its taken me back to the time when I was pregnant with her and it seems like it was so long ago.
We did not find out what we were having with Catherine and I swore up and down she was gonna be a boy. We bought boy clothes, we had boy names, we bought balls and cars and trucks, we honestly thought we were gonna have a boy. We went in to have her and all the nurses were looking at me and betting weather it was a boy or a girl and nobody said girl. I remember going through labor and thinking what if i go through all of this and its a girl, what am I gonna do with a girl? I am a girl and I dont understand them, much less try to raise one. Well it was time to find out and she comes out and my mom screams "its a girl, its a little girl!!!" I took one look at my sweet Catherine and was in love. I came home to a box of pink everything!!!! Wow I never expected how much pink stuff could exist but I embraced it, really I did. I stayed at home with Catherine and I fell in love with her! We played and took naps together and we went on long walks and watched movies and waited for our daddy and husband to come home everyday.
Now that she is almost 4 I cannot believe she is my little girl. She is smart, she is beautiful and she has an amazing heart for people and loves so deeply. She is creative and she is passionate, zealous and has an amazing love for adventure and life. I tear up as I write this because I get to experience interacting with her everyday. I wish everyone could know her and see her the way I do. I dont know what God has planned for her little life, but I believe its big stuff. I pray that her love for Jesus continues to grow and that God gives me the wisdom and strength and ability to teach and train her in the ways he is preparing for her.
So now that I am expecting again, people often ask if we are going to find out. And I simply say "no we are not going to find out." And then the next question is inevitably, "what do you want?"
And as I have pondered on that question for the last 3-4 months I finally figured it out. People think I must want a boy now that I have a girl. I think that having Catherine was the biggest suprise of my life and it was such and unexpected gift and adventure to be a mom to a little girl, that I am up for another suprise. If its a girl, I know I will fall in love with her, just like my Catherine and I know that if its a boy I will be so excited to enter into the adventurous world of boys. God is so good and faithful and he knows exactly what we need and how we need it. He knew I needed my Catherine and he loves me everyday through her. He knows exactly what we need with this next little one and I trust he knows my best. I am one lucky woman.