Grateful Heart

I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness to the Lord for his blessing and grace upon my Life that is not deserved. We have spent the last month reveling in a pregnancy that we honestly thought may not happen, we have spent the last month traveling to be with family and to enjoy thanksgiving with people we love and adore, we have been overwhelmed with gratitude for our new home and the gift it is to us, and now we are humbled once again by the blessing of the new Job the Lord has given James. I feel like I have gone through times of life expecting God to blessing, expecting him to do good things in my life, expecting everything I want to happen. If I am good enough, if I try hard enough, if I do enough then I will get what I want. After the last year of learning more and more of Christs character and through my frustrations of being mad, angry, sad, alone, tired, jealous etc...He has never left me. He has loved me, blessed me when I would not look, Held me when I could harldy breathe from crying so hard, waited patiently for me when I was so angry I couldnt even talk to Him. He has NEVER left me. I am learning and feel like I would not have acknowledged His grace and truth in my life had I not experienced the desert of longing. He longs for me to see Him in everything. He longs for me to let Him love me, to not expect from Him, but to trust who He is and what He is doing in my life. Life my not go like I plan, but He knows me so much better than I know myself and he longs to fill me with Him. He wants me to be satisfied in who He created me to be. So in this season of blessing beyond blessing in our lives I pray I hold onto these truthes I have learned in the last couple of years. I pray I fall in love with who He is more and more and that I can look back on His amazing blessings when I may be in the desert once again. I am overwhelmed and so grateful for where we are. I pray I cherish it and not long for what is next.

This is my mom and dad and sisters at thanksgiving
This is my beautiful Catherine Jane up in the Mountains!

My Girl and me the first morning after finding out she was gonna be a big sister!

I had to throw one in of the pregnancy test! What a blessing! We cannot wait to meet this little one. For those of you who are asking, we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby. We want to be suprised! The first couple of appointments have gone great. I have been really sick and so the last appointment the doctor put me on some great medication for the sickness. We also got to see the baby's heartbeat at the last appointment. It was to early to hear it but we could see our little peanut on the screen and see its little heart beating so stinkin fast. Its brain and organs are really growing this month. It now has legs and is getting fingernails. It is a little over an inch tall and weights about 5 grams. Holy cow its hard to believe there is life growing inside of me! Catherine is loving the Christmas story and always asks if Jesus is in my tummy, but maybe not because my name is not Mary. She loves to pray for this little one and she loves to come lay on my tummy. I can't wait for the baby to start moving so she can feel it and me too. She is gonna be an amazing big sister and I am so thankful for my Catherine Jane. I love telling her stories about when she was in my tummy and when she came to our lives. She is enamored by them. I cannot wait to keep you all informed on coming attractions of this little one entering our lives and so many of yours. I am 9weeks and 5 days pregnant! Love you all!

you know how i said God is Faithful????

Well He is!!! In my last post we mentioned all that is going on but we were intentionally waiting to mention another HUGE thing that will change our lives FOREVER. There will be a new baby that will be joining our family next July! Yep....Im gonna have a baby! Catherine is gonna be a big sis and James will continue being the best dad ever! After almost 2 years of longing for and wanting another baby we were coming to the conclusion that it just may not be God's plan for us. We met with a social worker about adoption and were starting to put money away so we could add to our family another way. Although we are pregnant we are still wanting to adopt in the future, its always been a dream of ours. This was just so unexpected. But i guess that we serve a God who blesses us so unexpectedly so often. Thank you for praying for our family. Please, please, please pray for a safe pregnancy and labor and delivery. Pray that God would grow this little one to be healthy and strong and one who will fully know his or her identity in Christ. Pray that God would prepare our family and especially Catie J for this huge change. Pray that we would never forget the way that God blessed our family, that we would not "expect" Christ to do anything, but we would "trust" Him with everything. Thank you for your prayers and your calls and your patience with my frustrations. God is so good.

---To the giver of life all glory is thine.

Lots of Changes......God is so faithful!

We have had so many things in life change lately. I did not realize the emotional and physical toll it would take on me. I love the new home....really I do! BUT......I did not realize how much change it would really be. I though, yea we get to move into a house and be in a neighborhood and have a backyard etc. I love all of this stuff but I am really struggling with feeling so out of place and like its not really "home" yet. I am tired of boxes and weird noises and cleaning on top of unpacking. I didn't think I would go on a walk in our new neighborhood and start balling because I miss my old walk. I knew how long it was, I knew the neighborhood, I knew where I was going. I also didn't know that I would cry everytime I used my stove because I dont know how hot it needs to be and then I end up burning something. AHHHHHHH! But this Saturday will be three weeks and counting and we honestly could not be more thankful. I LOVE our backyard. Catherine and myself are out there all day long. I love the bigger living room! I love my neighbors ALOT. I love decorating a new place and finding out how it will all fit best. So its bitter sweet but more sweet than bitter.

Last week we got a call from a friend and we were offered a couple of days at a timeshare up north. James got a couple of days off of work and at the last minute we were headed on a 3 hour drive to Northern Arizona. It was beautiful and cold for us. We had a bit of snow...enough to make a snowman. We went on walks and built a fire and just played. It was a well needed, free trip. We are so thankful for the oppertunity to do that.

I will post a few pics of the cabin and trip. I am also going to post some of the house, but I wanna get it all done beforehand. Lots of news and lots more to come. We are blessed, thankful and overwhemed with gratitude and joy as we revel in what the Lord is doing in our lives. Thank you for praying and loveing our family so well.

the big move

we move tomorrow!!! more pictures to come. please pray everything goes well and as planned and that I dont go absolutly crazy!!

The land of Enchantment

So we went to New Mexico twice in the last month!!! None of these picture are in order, so I will just give you the info on them as we go. This one above is Catie J at my grandparents house in Farmington NM. She and Papa are just about to go to the apple orchard and pick some apples. Its was 26 degrees outside!!! You would think I should bundle her up more. But we just dont understand cold weather here in the dessert land.
This is where they went to get apples. A 93 year old man owns this orchard and the apples are yummy!
this is James getting the car ready to go home

Catie J and Granny and Papa up in Purgetory in Southern Colorado. It was beautiful to see all the colors up there
We went to a bee farm and got lots of honey to bring home with us
we watched the bees making honey
Catie j and papa hagin out on the front porch swing. She loved this swing. I think if it fit, we would have brought it home with us.

we sat in front of the fire and had hot chocolate!!

This is when we went to go see my mom and dad in Las Cruces, NM. We went to the NMSU vs UNM game. We lost but it was fun. This was Catherines first football game
Laying in bed with auntie jenna and uncle Joel. She was kinda mad at them
The beautiful aspens in southern colorado
Gorgeous mountains with SNOW!!! whats that!
the fam

Mom and Jenna at the Football game Me and my beautiful sister at the football game!! She gonna be a bride soon
My daddy, catherines daddy and Catie J goin to the game
Momma and catie j

I love my mom and dad, morning coffee and sunrise. I miss these times at home
Off to the farmers market
I love this man!!!
all ready for the game
We had sooo much fun going to the football game

My daddy and catie j, she loved sitting with him and being with him
here they are again
davy, davy charlie, king of the Bekken frontier!!!
Catie J and auntie Jenna
Mom and Dad trying to do the Wii. It was lots of fun watching them do it!!! They are great sports.

So theres the last month for ya! We are tired. We are also moving in 2 weeks, so the next couple of weeks may be psycho. I will post again as soon as I can. Love you all

busy busy

life is nuts!!!! Somedays I think we are gonna be fine and somedays I want to crawl up into the fetal position and never come out. 2 weeks ago James was let go from his job along with 2 other teachers, thank goodness we serve a God that knows all things and this did not suprise him. He was already preparing to be an online professor for Grand Canyon University. So we just did a little switch, but its been nuts learning how to depend on Christ when we just dont know what is going on. We knew we would not see the benefits financially from Grand Canyon until the end of November so like always......we worried and worried and worried. What are we gonna do? Where is the money gonna come from? all those fearful questions we ask when we are totally vulnerable and afraid of the unknown. Well about 4 days after James lost his job a family from our Church had heard and they paid our rent for us this month. Then James' boss from the job he got let go from ended up giving him severence when he had already said he wasnt going to. As always God provided and and always I was humbled. In the midst of all of this we are moving into a house. We are renting a cute little house about a mile from here. The guys is not charging much, he just wants a family to take care of his parents house, who recently passed away. He has been so helpful financially and waved the deposit if we help him clean and he also said he would cover utilities. Nuts!!!! So when I think about crawling up into a ball I just have to think of how much Jesus has blessed us and how much he continues to bless us. I know he loves me and I trust he cares but its so easy to try and find everyway possible to do other things than just soley depending on him. When I finally do depend on him things seem so much lighter. Not easier but lighter. I dont like being uncomfortable and wondering, but maybe thats where he needs me to be right now. Wrapped in his arms and trusting in his blessings and faithfulness. He has never been unfaithful, he has never been judgemental or mean, he has never turned me away or disowned me. He has always loved me, always held me, always pursued me, alway protected me, alway listened to me and has always covered me with his mercy and grace. My life is not dependant on me, its not dependant on a job, or money or kids or my husband. My life is dependant on the one who created me. If He did not send his son to the cross I would be nothing. If I believe things were dependant on anything but Him than his sacrifice would be nothing. So why after all he did wouldnt I accept this gift of forgivness and grace that he so easily poured out by sacrificing his son on the cross. This life is so much bigger than me and thank goodness I have a relationship with the one who created it. Thanks for reading.

Dumpster Diving

So Catherine and myself walk to the park about 4-5 times a week. To do this we walk through an ally. There is a family who puts a lot of good stuff in the ally for garbage. So as I was walking the other day, I saw this beautiful wood. It was a headboard and a footboard for a bed and it was good, thick, chunky wood. I could bearly carry one by myself, so I had to get James to help with the really big one. Well the last day I have been thinking of what I want to do with them. So the smaller one, which is actually pretty big, I did this!!!! I have wanted someway to put scripture that means a lot to us, up at our house. So I did this, it was a great way of putting the scripture up in our home in a really artsy way. I love the rustic look of the wood and it matches well with all of the rest of our home decor. We like it and I guess thats what matters. I think with the bigger piece of wood we are going to get some help from a guy we know to help us make a coffee table. I love it! I am finally realizing this is what relaxes me and calms me down. I love art. Here are some pics of the sign I made, it needs to be cleaned up a bit but its a rough look too, so I dont want it to be so cleaned up. Enjoy!
the top of the sign
the middle of the sign
The bottom of the sign
My two favorite people off to the Ball Game!
I also sent James and Catie J off to the dbacks game tonight. They went with one of Catherines friends from Church and his dad. I dont know what to do with myself.....so I am blogging. Have a good night people!!!

This is the new alphabet painting I am working on! I think it would be fun with lots of colors.
The back of my new haircut!
And the side of my new haircut and a beautiful little girl!

The new 3D butterfly that I am wanting to sell at the farmers market.
Haircut from the front with my beautiful little girl!
Catherine and the elliptical
She is really workin it!
The alphabet board again

Another 3D painting. Catherine loved doing this one with me!
Here she is with it
this is a 3 part 3D painting of the metamorphisis cycle from caterpillar to butterfly
The caterpillar
and the cocoon.

Im still trying to figure out how to do this whole blogging thing, but I hope this works! Talk to you all soon!