My little Girl

Now that I am expecting again I often get the questions about when i was expecting Catherine. Like, "did you carry her high or low?" or "what did you crave with Catherine?" or maybe "Did you find out what you were having with her?" Its taken me back to the time when I was pregnant with her and it seems like it was so long ago.

We did not find out what we were having with Catherine and I swore up and down she was gonna be a boy. We bought boy clothes, we had boy names, we bought balls and cars and trucks, we honestly thought we were gonna have a boy. We went in to have her and all the nurses were looking at me and betting weather it was a boy or a girl and nobody said girl. I remember going through labor and thinking what if i go through all of this and its a girl, what am I gonna do with a girl? I am a girl and I dont understand them, much less try to raise one. Well it was time to find out and she comes out and my mom screams "its a girl, its a little girl!!!" I took one look at my sweet Catherine and was in love. I came home to a box of pink everything!!!! Wow I never expected how much pink stuff could exist but I embraced it, really I did. I stayed at home with Catherine and I fell in love with her! We played and took naps together and we went on long walks and watched movies and waited for our daddy and husband to come home everyday.

Now that she is almost 4 I cannot believe she is my little girl. She is smart, she is beautiful and she has an amazing heart for people and loves so deeply. She is creative and she is passionate, zealous and has an amazing love for adventure and life. I tear up as I write this because I get to experience interacting with her everyday. I wish everyone could know her and see her the way I do. I dont know what God has planned for her little life, but I believe its big stuff. I pray that her love for Jesus continues to grow and that God gives me the wisdom and strength and ability to teach and train her in the ways he is preparing for her.

So now that I am expecting again, people often ask if we are going to find out. And I simply say "no we are not going to find out." And then the next question is inevitably, "what do you want?"

And as I have pondered on that question for the last 3-4 months I finally figured it out. People think I must want a boy now that I have a girl. I think that having Catherine was the biggest suprise of my life and it was such and unexpected gift and adventure to be a mom to a little girl, that I am up for another suprise. If its a girl, I know I will fall in love with her, just like my Catherine and I know that if its a boy I will be so excited to enter into the adventurous world of boys. God is so good and faithful and he knows exactly what we need and how we need it. He knew I needed my Catherine and he loves me everyday through her. He knows exactly what we need with this next little one and I trust he knows my best. I am one lucky woman.

Christmas/New Years/Baby Update

Ahhhh the Christmas season is finally over. I loved it this year but it seemed to last forever. I was in the prime of my pregnancy sickness and so I could not eat anything with out it all coming back up, it was sad. It was our first Christmas without seeing family. We stayed in Phoenix and we loved it. It was fun to figure out what our traditions would be and what thats going to look like in the future. My sister, Joanna worked in the ER until midnight so she came and stayed with us Christmas eve and spent the morning with us, it was really fun to have her there. Also another friend who is a nurse got off at 7 Christmas morning and she came and had breakfast with us and spent the morning. This is not what I expected at all for our first Christmas at home but it was so much fun. We took my sister to the airport and I spent a lot of time watching people as we drove through town. I became so sad, for the first time I realized not everyone has family at Christmas. There were so many people alone and sad and hurting. I know its nuts that that was the first time I realized it, but for so long I have been couped up in my home with my family and my husbands family that I never really saw this. Anyways as we processed and talked throughout the day about my sadness, we decided to start every year either having someone over that has no where else to go or working at a soup kitchen or something. I want to acknowledge that even those who have no where to go are still worth being with.



We spent the new years with a couple of families from our homegroup. It was fun watching the kids play and hanging out. It was the first time everyone came over to the new home. Although after becoming parents it seems as though new years happens earlier and earlier. We were in bed by 9:30.



The baby is doing good!!! I love that I get to experience this again. There were days I was wondering if I would and yet God has blessed my womb with the life of another child. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago at week 12 and I got to see the baby again. This time was so cool, it was a lot bigger and moving and kicking, although I could not feel it yet it was really fun to see. We got a cute picture of it sucking its thumb. It amazing how fast they grow and the idea of whats happening inside of me. God is so good, I do not know how you could experience this and not believe there is something bigger than yourself doing this. The baby is 3.5 inches now, two weeks ago it was only 2 inches, isnt that crazy. It weighs about 1.5 oz and its brain is growing rapidly now. Its about the size of a peach or a bit bigger(thanks Natalie for that info). I am learning more and more how much having kids teaches me to release my control and to trust the one who created them. Its so hard to not try to control everything and yet I control absolutly nothing. I am learning everyday. We cannot wait for summer and this baby to enter wholly into our lives. I cannot wait to meet it and see what it looks like. I cant wait to nurse and go on walks and cuddle and take naps with this little one. The gift of life is so beautiful.



James started a new job last week. He is now an Academic Advisor for Grand Canyon University.(i get to go back to school for free!!!). He is also still teaching online bible classes for Grand Canyon as well. He is busy, but for the first time in about 4 months we are caught up on bills, we can go grocery shopping without freaking out, and we can give so much more freely. Again God has been so faithful and good to our family. He is an amazing daddy and husband and would do anything in the world for our family. We are so lucky to have him. I love being his wife and learning everyday from his knowledge of the bible and his paitence and wisdom beyond his years. I am one lucky woman and Catherine is the luckiest little girl in the world.



Welp here we are on January 17 celebrating another year of life. We celebrated 5 years of marriage on the 3rd of this month. We get to celebrate 4 years of our daughter life in March and we get to celebrate a new life entering the world in July. I am a truly blessed woman. Thank you Jesus. We love you all and we are so thankful for each of you. I hope you have an amazing year and that you are filled with the grace of who our Jesus is. That you know and trust you are loved and wanted and valued and accepted. Here are some pics.....hope you enjoy.



Catherine and her friends on New Years eating pizza at Catherines new table.

Catherine opening gifts with Daddy on Christmas morning.

Me and the most amazing man in the entire world.

my beautiful Catie J. Catherine and daddy setting up the Christmas story so we can act it out

Grateful Heart

I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness to the Lord for his blessing and grace upon my Life that is not deserved. We have spent the last month reveling in a pregnancy that we honestly thought may not happen, we have spent the last month traveling to be with family and to enjoy thanksgiving with people we love and adore, we have been overwhelmed with gratitude for our new home and the gift it is to us, and now we are humbled once again by the blessing of the new Job the Lord has given James. I feel like I have gone through times of life expecting God to blessing, expecting him to do good things in my life, expecting everything I want to happen. If I am good enough, if I try hard enough, if I do enough then I will get what I want. After the last year of learning more and more of Christs character and through my frustrations of being mad, angry, sad, alone, tired, jealous etc...He has never left me. He has loved me, blessed me when I would not look, Held me when I could harldy breathe from crying so hard, waited patiently for me when I was so angry I couldnt even talk to Him. He has NEVER left me. I am learning and feel like I would not have acknowledged His grace and truth in my life had I not experienced the desert of longing. He longs for me to see Him in everything. He longs for me to let Him love me, to not expect from Him, but to trust who He is and what He is doing in my life. Life my not go like I plan, but He knows me so much better than I know myself and he longs to fill me with Him. He wants me to be satisfied in who He created me to be. So in this season of blessing beyond blessing in our lives I pray I hold onto these truthes I have learned in the last couple of years. I pray I fall in love with who He is more and more and that I can look back on His amazing blessings when I may be in the desert once again. I am overwhelmed and so grateful for where we are. I pray I cherish it and not long for what is next.

This is my mom and dad and sisters at thanksgiving
This is my beautiful Catherine Jane up in the Mountains!

My Girl and me the first morning after finding out she was gonna be a big sister!

I had to throw one in of the pregnancy test! What a blessing! We cannot wait to meet this little one. For those of you who are asking, we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby. We want to be suprised! The first couple of appointments have gone great. I have been really sick and so the last appointment the doctor put me on some great medication for the sickness. We also got to see the baby's heartbeat at the last appointment. It was to early to hear it but we could see our little peanut on the screen and see its little heart beating so stinkin fast. Its brain and organs are really growing this month. It now has legs and is getting fingernails. It is a little over an inch tall and weights about 5 grams. Holy cow its hard to believe there is life growing inside of me! Catherine is loving the Christmas story and always asks if Jesus is in my tummy, but maybe not because my name is not Mary. She loves to pray for this little one and she loves to come lay on my tummy. I can't wait for the baby to start moving so she can feel it and me too. She is gonna be an amazing big sister and I am so thankful for my Catherine Jane. I love telling her stories about when she was in my tummy and when she came to our lives. She is enamored by them. I cannot wait to keep you all informed on coming attractions of this little one entering our lives and so many of yours. I am 9weeks and 5 days pregnant! Love you all!

you know how i said God is Faithful????

Well He is!!! In my last post we mentioned all that is going on but we were intentionally waiting to mention another HUGE thing that will change our lives FOREVER. There will be a new baby that will be joining our family next July! Yep....Im gonna have a baby! Catherine is gonna be a big sis and James will continue being the best dad ever! After almost 2 years of longing for and wanting another baby we were coming to the conclusion that it just may not be God's plan for us. We met with a social worker about adoption and were starting to put money away so we could add to our family another way. Although we are pregnant we are still wanting to adopt in the future, its always been a dream of ours. This was just so unexpected. But i guess that we serve a God who blesses us so unexpectedly so often. Thank you for praying for our family. Please, please, please pray for a safe pregnancy and labor and delivery. Pray that God would grow this little one to be healthy and strong and one who will fully know his or her identity in Christ. Pray that God would prepare our family and especially Catie J for this huge change. Pray that we would never forget the way that God blessed our family, that we would not "expect" Christ to do anything, but we would "trust" Him with everything. Thank you for your prayers and your calls and your patience with my frustrations. God is so good.

---To the giver of life all glory is thine.

Lots of Changes......God is so faithful!

We have had so many things in life change lately. I did not realize the emotional and physical toll it would take on me. I love the new home....really I do! BUT......I did not realize how much change it would really be. I though, yea we get to move into a house and be in a neighborhood and have a backyard etc. I love all of this stuff but I am really struggling with feeling so out of place and like its not really "home" yet. I am tired of boxes and weird noises and cleaning on top of unpacking. I didn't think I would go on a walk in our new neighborhood and start balling because I miss my old walk. I knew how long it was, I knew the neighborhood, I knew where I was going. I also didn't know that I would cry everytime I used my stove because I dont know how hot it needs to be and then I end up burning something. AHHHHHHH! But this Saturday will be three weeks and counting and we honestly could not be more thankful. I LOVE our backyard. Catherine and myself are out there all day long. I love the bigger living room! I love my neighbors ALOT. I love decorating a new place and finding out how it will all fit best. So its bitter sweet but more sweet than bitter.

Last week we got a call from a friend and we were offered a couple of days at a timeshare up north. James got a couple of days off of work and at the last minute we were headed on a 3 hour drive to Northern Arizona. It was beautiful and cold for us. We had a bit of snow...enough to make a snowman. We went on walks and built a fire and just played. It was a well needed, free trip. We are so thankful for the oppertunity to do that.

I will post a few pics of the cabin and trip. I am also going to post some of the house, but I wanna get it all done beforehand. Lots of news and lots more to come. We are blessed, thankful and overwhemed with gratitude and joy as we revel in what the Lord is doing in our lives. Thank you for praying and loveing our family so well.

the big move

we move tomorrow!!! more pictures to come. please pray everything goes well and as planned and that I dont go absolutly crazy!!

The land of Enchantment

So we went to New Mexico twice in the last month!!! None of these picture are in order, so I will just give you the info on them as we go. This one above is Catie J at my grandparents house in Farmington NM. She and Papa are just about to go to the apple orchard and pick some apples. Its was 26 degrees outside!!! You would think I should bundle her up more. But we just dont understand cold weather here in the dessert land.
This is where they went to get apples. A 93 year old man owns this orchard and the apples are yummy!
this is James getting the car ready to go home

Catie J and Granny and Papa up in Purgetory in Southern Colorado. It was beautiful to see all the colors up there
We went to a bee farm and got lots of honey to bring home with us
we watched the bees making honey
Catie j and papa hagin out on the front porch swing. She loved this swing. I think if it fit, we would have brought it home with us.

we sat in front of the fire and had hot chocolate!!

This is when we went to go see my mom and dad in Las Cruces, NM. We went to the NMSU vs UNM game. We lost but it was fun. This was Catherines first football game
Laying in bed with auntie jenna and uncle Joel. She was kinda mad at them
The beautiful aspens in southern colorado
Gorgeous mountains with SNOW!!! whats that!
the fam

Mom and Jenna at the Football game Me and my beautiful sister at the football game!! She gonna be a bride soon
My daddy, catherines daddy and Catie J goin to the game
Momma and catie j

I love my mom and dad, morning coffee and sunrise. I miss these times at home
Off to the farmers market
I love this man!!!
all ready for the game
We had sooo much fun going to the football game

My daddy and catie j, she loved sitting with him and being with him
here they are again
davy, davy charlie, king of the Bekken frontier!!!
Catie J and auntie Jenna
Mom and Dad trying to do the Wii. It was lots of fun watching them do it!!! They are great sports.

So theres the last month for ya! We are tired. We are also moving in 2 weeks, so the next couple of weeks may be psycho. I will post again as soon as I can. Love you all